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Carl's Blog

Update 10/7/2004


This past Monday October 4, 2004, was very special for me. Not only was my entire family with me, but a new and extended family of friends and businessmen from Morgan Stanley, who have become the heart and soul of the Carl Riccio Annual Golf Outing run by Jose Rivera and Denise Cappuccio. I cannot say enough about all these wonderful men who take a day out of their lives to support my son. We are truly blessed to have their support and we will be forever grateful. The support of our family and friends has been continual and unwavering. I can only say thank you, and assure you that Carl is worth it and will make you proud.

Besides all these wonderful people and the beautiful weather, we were also honored to have the world’s leader in spinal cord injury research, the founder of the SCI Collaborative Research Center in New Jersey, and family friend and mentor Dr. Wise Young. I was in contact with dozens of doctors and research scientist throughout the world in the first few weeks of my son’s injury, and although most tried to be helpful and supportive, there was one beacon of hope and knowledge, and that was Dr. Wise Young. He came to visit Carl and my family the first week at Kessler Institute, it was then that we began to really learn the story of spinal cord injury, what has been the status quo and what the future will bring with the new and exciting world of stem cells and drug therapy.

To have people realize how fast things are moving in the world of medicine and stem cell research in particular, I would like to quickly explain where Dr. Young has been, and where he is, in the short time of the last three years. In Dr. Young's lab in New Jersey, with a few other doctors they transplanted olfactory cells(stem cells) into rats damaged spinal cords over time they began seeing some results, not a cure but some real function increase. With this, Dr. Huang, one of Dr. Young's students, went to China and started doing this operation on SCI injured people in China. Dr. Young was amazed and frightened. Since then Dr. Huang has done the operation on over 500 patients with various results. Dr. Young has been to China almost a dozen times in the last 2 years observing and reporting to us on Dr. Huang's progress.

Well that's enough of the background, I want to now tell you what Dr. Young told us in his speech on Monday. The man that gave me life and hope 18 months ago now says that a cure will happen in the next five years, to be exact he said before 5 years. I know how hard this has to be for Dr. Young to put a time frame on something such as a cure, that is why I am so optimistic and hopeful. The thoughts in my mind the last two days are not of Carl in a wheel chair and worse, but of what a new life for Carl will be as a recovering SCI patient. What will the limits be? Will he walk? Run? Play catch with his kids? I believe the answers are yes, and Tricia and I cant wait.

Once again, thank you Jose Rivera, Denise Cappuccio, all our family and friends, all the great people of Morgan Stanley and of course the great Dr. Wise Young.

Thank You,
Peter & Tricia Riccio

Update 9/8/2004


Carl has been at Villanova for 2 weeks now. It has been a hard time for us. I think that every young person leaving home for college has an adjustment period, and for a quadriplegic it is multiplied ten fold. The problems started two days before he was to leave when his assistant announced he was not going to Villanova. After I got over the shock and the need to kill him, I just decided I would move to Villanova and take the job of Carl's assistant, enroll in some courses, get in shape and join the diving team. After a day or so the assistant came back and these plans were put on hold to Carl's great relief.

Tricia has been working daily for months on Carl’s transition to college and still more things have gone wrong then right. The phone line is still not in, the computer system that works his room is not yet installed properly, Carl has been sick, and he has not been able to do his physical therapy for two weeks for various reasons. I have been worried about Carl constantly and have felt a large void in my life, but just as things seemed worse, Carl has physically gotten better. With that and a little more organization and time management, life in college will be fruitful and fun. As usual Carl is amazing, funny, inspirational and the center of my life.

I hope a cure is coming. Stem cells are what we hang our hats on at this time. One of the greatest people I know Dr. Wise Young, from the Spinal Cord Collaborative Research Center in New Jersey, will be speaking at the dinner for Carl on October 4, 2004. Carl’s great benefactor, Jose Rivera, who runs this fundraiser for him, asked for a speaker on stem cells and we have the best coming. Please, anyone who is interested in Carl or SCI research come and meet Dr. Young on October 4th(details on site).

I have been gifted in the fact that I have been able to provide my family with the finances to live a good life, but I can tell you this tragedy is something that would challenge the finances of all but a very few. So once again, I must thank everyone who has helped us in this regard, we will be eternally grateful.

We played a football game on the beach a few weeks ago and Carl was watching his brothers and friends play. I cried as I watched Carl, laughing, joking, and just having fun with all the players. How does he do it? Why does he never ask why? Why is he not bitter? Should we play in front of him? These are all questions I have in my mind and then I wipe my tears and realize again that he is laughing and having fun. This is my son, my hero, Carl Riccio.

Thank you,
Peter J. Riccio

Update 8/12/2004


It has now been 18 months since Carl’s life was tragically changed by a terrible spinal cord injury. Of course not only has Carl’s life changed, but all of us that love and care for him have also had our lives transformed into something other than normal, and it would take much more than my vocabulary contains to explain it. Everything I do has some kind of reflection on Carl. I am sometimes inspired, worried, excited, sad, and just about every other emotion - including guilt when I am doing something that Carl cannot.

One thing I can say is that I love him more than I can explain. He is, as I said months ago, the wind beneath our wings. My wife and I are now consumed by the fact that he is now leaving for college in less than 2 weeks. I am scared and excited for him. I want everything to go perfectly, of course it will not. But he has a great support group including his brother, two cousins, and his assistant with him at Villanova, and of course his mother will never be too far away.

Carl is worried that students now will never know the real Carl Riccio, and I understand what he means. That big strapping athlete is no longer who he is, but on reflection, those years are very short and the real person we all are is in us at all times, no matter our physical attributes at any particular time in our life. It will be his personality that will define him, his heart, his goodness. The real challenge for him and all other handicapped people when it comes to the outside world is for the handicapped themselves to knock down all the barriers that make people look at him as different. Talk, smile, interact, go everywhere, don’t let anything be an obstruction to success.

These are the expectations I have for Carl. It will be much easier for Carl to retreat into a computer or other aspects of life that are in a handicaps comfort zone. The challenge is to go out to the basketball, football, and baseball games. Join some clubs and maybe even a fraternity. Make the world around him say wow, that’s Carl Riccio, he is involved in so much he is amazing.

Anyway these are my hopes. Not much different then all the other parents sending their son or daughter out to the next stage of life.

Carl continues his physical therapy and will do so at college. The world is changing daily and science tells us that stem cell research is the answer to dozens of medical problems including spinal cord injury. This is Carl’s real hope to walk and use his hands and the dozens of other things we all take for granted. We are encouraged by all the recent debate on stem cell research. Everyone that is against stem cell research must simply not understand the science. I can try and explain it, but there are much brighter people than me who could explain in much better detail the science behind stem cells. To me there is one necessary sentence to explain why stem cell research should go on and it should not even be a political issue.

STEM CELL RESEARCH DOES NOT STOP ANYONE FROM BEING BORN BUT IT DOES MAKE THE POSSIBILITY OF A CURE FOR DOZENS OF AILMENTS INCLUDING PARKINSONS, ALZHEIMERS, SPINAL CORD INJURY, HEART DISEASE, DIABETES, AND MORE A REAL POSSIBILITY IN OUR LIFETIME.

Maybe when Carl is graduating from Villanova, science will have a cure for SCI.

Once again, thank you for your continued interest in my son, Carl Riccio.

Thank you,
Peter & Tricia Riccio

Update 7/8/2004


Once again I say thank you to everyone who is interested in Carl's progress. I am told dozens of times how people are touched by Carl and that they enjoy reading the updates. It is a tribute to Carl that so many people care about him and wish him well. This puts a certain amount of responsibility on Carl to live up to and exceed expectations that people have of him. I think this is a blessing. I want him to reach all his goals and become a role model for all of us who must climb a mountain of obstacles to succeed.

Carl graduated on June 16,2004. Everyone who spoke mentioned Carl. It was so touching to me that I could not keep my eyes dry. The last speaker, Dr. Thomas Diganci the principal of WHRHS said something like this: ”The administration, the teachers, the underclassmen and the graduates are better people because they got to know Carl Riccio...” With that they called up the first graduate - Carl - and the graduates and the hundreds in the stands all gave him a standing ovation. I can tell you my wife and I were touched deeply. It was a wonderful tribute by a great class, school, and community for a kid who is able to live life to the fullest despite the tragedy he has faced.

We have all looked at the handicapped and felt sorry for them. How could they live like that etc? I have a handicapped son and still ask that question everyday, and everyday I get the answer by watching Carl. He goes to every function, he tries everything, he received his handicapped license last week, he dances in his wheel chair, he gives speeches and adapts to many things that would make many of us never leave our room. How does he do it? Maybe the answer is he has no choice, or maybe he is special, maybe he is too naive to even think of giving up. He fights with me over how something is to be done or what he wants over what I want and I can tell you his strong willed personality is intact. You must have a strong argument to get Carl to change his direction. I think the strength of character that Carl possesses is the reason why he is so independent and inspiring.

Carl is spending most of the summer in Lavallette before leaving for Villanova on August 21st. He will continue to do his physical therapy no matter where he is so that when a cure is found his muscles will be ready. On July 19th and October 4th there will be golf outings to help pay for medical needs. Information is on this website.

Once again thank you for your interest in Carl. Please continue to pray for Carl and all the scientists who are working towards a cure for spinal cord injury. Everyday I read about what is happening in the world as far as research, drugs and clinical trials. I do not think my hope is unrealistic that my son will walk someday and when he does my life will be complete. In the meantime we have all of you, and that is more important than you can imagine.

Thank you,
Peter J. Riccio

Update 6/7/2004


It is now less than two weeks before Carl graduates from high school. As everyone else that moves on to a new stage of life, a certain amount of uncertainty and anxiety along with great anticipation go along with this right of passage. Carl will be doing so with just a little more anxiety then most. Carl’s greatest fear is that new people he meets will see him only as a quadriplegic and that it will be hard for them to get to know the real Carl - the athlete, the personality, and if I might add, that incredible heart of gold he has.

In response, I tell him that I agree with him. It will be his biggest obstacle and his greatest challenge. When he returned to Watchung Hills, he was loved and respected because of what kind of person he was before his injury - a big, strong, great athlete, who was humble to a fault and friends with a vast array of students and faculty. His personality bridged all social barriers. These facts made it so much easier for him to return to life as a student. As he has said, everyone at Watchung Hills knows the real Carl Riccio.

Now the biggest challenges are ahead for my beautiful young man. It will not be easy. We all remember going to college for the first time - excited, scared and just about every other emotion that a young person leaving home for the first time has. Then add to it this terrible tragedy that has made Carl a quadriplegic. How do we help Carl with his number one fear of people not knowing the person he was for 17 years? This I really do not have an answer for. I just tell Carl that for most of us, if faced with the same situation, the goal of having people know and accept us would be much harder than for him. He is beautiful, smart, good and has a personality that is second to none. It will be up to him to break down the barriers that he will encounter because of his handicap. He might have to take some personal beatings along the way, but my bet is he will prevail and four years from now he will be leaving Villanova with hundreds of friends better off because Carl Riccio touched their lives.

In the last few weeks Carl has been honored by the students and faculty of Watchung hills with a fundraising volleyball tournament as well as a 3 mile walk. Both events were fantastic and added funds to Carl’s medical care needs. Carl was also awarded the Optimist Club award for Wrestling and attended this fine event along with the other 29 recipients at Watchung hills.

Last night my wife(Tricia) and sister(Renee) attended RALLY FOR THE CURE in New York this event was the beginning of what we hope will be the end of spinal cord injury as we know it. The proceeds go to the Rutgers Collaborative Research Center for Spinal Cord Injury, lead by one of the greatest person I have ever met, one of Carl’s and thousands like him real hope, Dr. Wise Young. We hope last night was a success and I know Tricia and Renee were very excited at the showing.

Carl, his brothers and I went to the Pilot baseball game yesterday in North Plainfield. Carl met many players and coaches that he had played for over the years. The mayor of North Plainfield presented Carl with checks from many of the teams in the area. We want to thank Dan Battista and the Pilots for honoring Carl last Night.

Thank you for your interest in Carl. He is a remarkable person and I will continue to report on his life and progress as long as people care.

Thank you,
Peter & Tricia Riccio

Update 5/13/2004


Once again I write to everyone who has been so kind to Carl and our family. We have all read and heard of others misfortunes and, while praying for them, added thank God it is not my son, daughter, etc. I hope no one ever has to endure a terrible tragedy like what has happened to Carl. But if you ever did I can only hope that the support of family, friends, teachers, classmates, athletes from all over the state and even the country, as well as just good people who care, are with you as they have been for Carl. Without all of you this situation would be even harder to accept and forge ahead.

I will ask Mike McCarey, who is the caretaker of this website, and my wife to see if they could get some pictures of Carl on the website. To Carol Ambrecht, our prayers are with you and your mother. Her suffering is over and I am sure she is in a better place.

I would just like to tell you how special a person I feel Carl is - or maybe most people in his situation would be like him - or maybe I just know I am not as good a person as he is and would be nothing like him. Over the last few weeks or so, all Carl’s friends have been starting the annual right of being a senior in the spring. We all remember it - the sun, the romances, cutting class, proms, parties and on and on. As an added bonus, Watchung Hills baseball team is special this year, not only with their record, but the players are the best young men you could put together, as are all Carl’s friends.

These kids - girls and boys - come to our home often. They play tennis, swim, play baseball, etc. My other sons, Shane and Tyler, participate as well. Everyone is having a good time and Carl is right there watching, talking, and laughing with them. I wish I could also be happy, but I cannot believe Carl is truly happy. So I always open my mouth and say something like “Carl I am sorry I wish you were playing, having fun, hitting homeruns, walking, running.” The answer I get is a terse reprimand – “stop thinking like that and lose weight you fat ass.”

He is truly remarkable. He is strong for me, and much stronger than me.

Thank you,
Peter & Tricia Riccio

Update 4/20/2004


We are now in the middle of baseball season and Carl does not miss a game. When the Varsity and JV are home he is at the Varsity game, when the freshmen are home he is at their games. I go to the away game and Tricia goes to the home games. During the games I am in touch with Carl through his cell phone. If you could hear him report on the game, you would know why he was exceptional. He really knows the game. I hope somehow in the future he is able to teach and coach baseball. He will be great at it.

The past two weekends Watchung Hills honored Carl by holding a tournament in his name. It was once again an emotional and heartwarming affair. Carl said he will some day walk out to the mound and throw out the first pitch in the tournament named after him. I can’t wait.

I am in constant contact with many SCI research centers throughout the world, and the fact that their are many is, in itself, hopeful. Carl will be ready when something is found. He works hard daily to keep himself in shape.

Tricia, Carl and I spent Sunday at the Raritan center where they had the annual handicap expo. We learned of all the new technology that is available to make life better for the handicapped. Even at something like this, Carl never missed a beat. He was excited to learn everything he could and, as always, never showed one bit of self-pity.

The next few months will be exciting and scary. As all seniors, Carl will be moving from one phase of life to another. Tricia and I must step away from his side and let him go and grow. Like all parents, we will not go far. We will be in the shadows hoping he does not need us, but always at his side when he does.

Thank you,
Peter & Tricia Riccio

Update 3/29/2004


The last few weeks have been, at times, so emotional that at I felt overwhelmed with what was going on with Carl. Yet Carl, as usual, handled everything with class and dignity. Carl was an excited fan and teammate when Alex Caruso, Mike Gatti and his brother Shane and cousin Roy Dragon participated in Atlantic City. When Mike won the ultimate goal of a state championship, Carl was as excited as if he had won it himself.

When Carl led the parade of champions before the finals, I finally could not handle it anymore. I left the arena and cried by myself. The fact that he could even participate to me was remarkable, but only those close to him can understand the remarkable sincerity that he participated with. Last night at the high school wrestling banquet, he thanked everyone for their support and remarked at what a great and happy time this year’s wrestling season was for him. To me he is amazing.

Carl continues to work hard on his physical therapy, and although he has not had any return of function, he is keeping all his muscles ready for the future, which we hope is not far away with the passage of the stem cell bill in New Jersey. Tricia and Carl have been working on helping Governor McGreevey, and other stem cell proponents, to jump start the funding of research in New Jersey that will help thousands with many ailments from spinal cord injuries, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, diabetes and many more debilitating diseases. Last week Carl and his mother were invited to the Governor’s mansion for breakfast with the Governor and other leading proponents of stem cell research. Carl had a great time, and he feels that Governor McGreevey is a sincere and honest visionary, who really cares about his fellow citizens. We as a family have never been politically oriented but since it seems that stem cell research is a political issue, I can tell you that Carl and his family ask the question WHY? If Carl, and thousands like him, could live a normal life because of stem cell research, how could anybody deny them... well enough of that.

Carl now goes to as many baseball practices as he can and looks forward to the high school season. He, needless to say, is Watchung Hills greatest fan. We went to the game the other day. It was quite an experience for me. Carl broke down everyone’s swing, gave out tips to his friends and teammates, and analyzed everyone’s performance as though he was a seasoned old scout. It was great for me. I enjoyed hearing his input on the game.

We will continue to hope and pray for a cure for Carl. We appreciate all of Carl’s supporters who continue to pray for him and wish him well. In less than three months Carl and all his classmates will graduate and move on to new challenges. Carl might have a few more obstacles than most, but I think he has been given some special attributes that will give him the ability to overcome almost anything.

Thank you,
Peter & Tricia Riccio

Update 3/12/2004


The year anniversary has come and gone. Life goes on. For me, there is constant sadness, yet constant hope. All of the people who know of Carl and care for him have made life better. Carl’s personality and attitude remain remarkable. I watch him interact with his teammates, friends and brothers and wonder - is he for real? He is a coach, a mentor and a friend to his friends and brothers in a way that is so sincere, I do not understand.

Wrestling season is coming to an end and Carl is already making plans to attend as many baseball practices and games that he can. But before that, he will be at Atlantic City this weekend watching dozens of young men, that he grew up with, striving for goals that they have worked so hard their whole lives for, and no matter where they end up, everyone of them are successful, and we wish them luck.

I will watch my son, Shane, and nephew, Roy, and the 100 others I have grown to know in the wrestling circles that will be in AC, but the thought of Carl and what he is missing and going through will always be the main focus of my brain. I cannot help that. And in reality, I do not even know if I would want it any other way until he is walking again. I can tell you he works harder trying to get strong than anyone I know. I hope some day I can write of some physical advances in Carl’s body, but until that day comes, I just thank God Carl is who he is and pray he stays that way.

This weekend Carl will be in Section 105 in AC. He loves to meet the people who care about him...stop by.

Thank you,
Peter & Tricia Riccio

Update 2/19/2004


This weekend is the anniversary of our worst nightmare. On 2/22/03 my life as I knew it stopped. A new life of crying, searching, praying and hoping began. I always said to my family I am the happiest person on the face of the earth, despite all my physical and mental handicaps. Now I find myself sad and depressed on a regular basis. The thing that I have not lost is the faith and hope that Carl will some day be able to use his hands and legs and live a normal life.

When I got out to the mat that day, my beautiful, strong, athletic son looked me in the eyes and said “Dad, I can’t move anything” and tears ran down his face. At that moment I knew my life was different. That moment is with me every night, it never changes, I wake up crying. I had to hold it together. My youngest boys were there and were panicked and crying. My wife and older kids were on the other side of the country at Peter Jr.’s (Villanova) opening of the baseball season. I am not the strong one in my family, that distinction goes to Tricia. Getting her back with us was a priority, but it took over eight long grueling hours. That was how our new life began. My wife eventually got to the hospital and has led us through this turbulent year.

When looking back, I can tell you that without the support of everyone that has read this website, written letters, prayed for Carl, sent food, cards, words of inspiration and sent donations, my family would not be where we are today. Life’s normal everyday occurrences lead us to be somewhat selfish and self centered. This is inevitable since we live in a society that makes us competitive from the time we can run. We compete at sports, school, job, love and just life itself. But I can tell you that when tragedy strikes, the human spirit is goodness and it overpowers everything else. I do not want to name everyone, for I might leave somebody out and it would take me all day. I can only say thank you to everyone who has touched Carl’s life, and by that ours, and we will be forever grateful.

Carl cannot play baseball, wrestle, surf, golf or just go run on the beach, but his personality and will have not changed at all. He does everything he can. I know people feel uncomfortable when they see him, but just go up to him and start talking. You will forget he is handicapped. The future for Carl is hopeful as far as physical abilities are concerned. The future for Carl as a successful father, businessman and important and successful member of society is without doubt.

This past Monday we met with Dr. Wise Young(Rutgers Collaborative Research Center for Spinal Cord Injury). Tricia, Carl and I have been planning a trip to China this June to receive an operation that has helped some patients with SCI. We went to make our final decision on going. After hours with Dr. Young and his assistant, Dr. Patricia Morton, we made a unanimous decision to postpone our trip for one year. Although Carl and I were both a little down after postponing the trip since we have been looking forward to making some progress through this operation, the real truth is that what we heard from Dr. Young was so encouraging that we hope next May the operation, combined with other drugs and hormones that Dr. Young is researching now, will be much better than it is now.

Once again, I thank everyone that cares about Carl. You have been remarkable. I will continue to post messages on this website for as long as it is here. Carl’s life will be an open book because so many people have written chapters in it.

Thank you, Carl reads every email.
Peter & Tricia Riccio
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